Asexuals and Attitude Towards Sex

Asexuality is an orientation, not an ideology, and asexual individuals can hold a wide range of attitudes towards sex, both in broader cultural contexts and within personal relationships. The attitudes towards sex among asexual people can vary greatly and encompass different combinations of beliefs and preferences.


Cultural Attitudes Towards Sex:

Discussions around cultural attitudes towards sex are prevalent in both the asexual community and mainstream discourse. These attitudes are often categorized into three groups: Sex-Positive, Sex-Neutral, and Sex-Negative.

Examples of attitudes within these categories include:

  • Sex-Positive: Encourages healthy portrayals of sexuality in media, comprehensive sex education, accessible sexual health services, absence of slut-shaming, and acceptance of alternative lifestyles such as polyamory, kinks/fetishes, and unattached sex partners.
  • Sex-Neutral: Supports moderate and non-explicit portrayals of sexuality in media, basic sex education, and the belief that alternative lifestyles should remain private.
  • Sex-Negative: Advocates for the censorship of sexual content in media, the notion that discussions about sex should be confined to the bedroom, the belief that sex is only healthy within committed relationships, and the idea that sex education should be limited and primarily taught by parents rather than in classrooms.

Personal Attitudes Towards Having Sex:

Although asexual individuals do not experience sexual attraction or possess an inherent need for sexual activity, many of them engage in sexual relationships. They may be open to finding ways to enjoy sex to maintain a healthy relationship.

Attitudes towards having sex among asexual people can be categorized into three groups: Sex-Favorable, Sex-Indifferent, and Sex-Averse/Sex-Repulsed. Factors that influence these categories include:

  • Sex-Favorable: A positive willingness to compromise with a sexual partner, openness to finding ways to derive enjoyment from sexual activity on a physical or emotional level, and a preference for giving sexual pleasure rather than receiving it.
  • Sex-Indifferent: Willingness to occasionally compromise on certain aspects of sex, a lack of significant enjoyment from sex on a physical or emotional level, but without distress when thinking about it, and a potential willingness to provide pleasure to a partner without perceiving it as intimate.
  • Sex-Averse/Sex-Repulsed: Experiencing distress or a visceral reaction to the idea of engaging in sex, an unwillingness to compromise, and a range of intensity in the aversion or repulsion experienced (subjective terminology may vary).

Combinations of These Attitudes:

Asexual individuals can exhibit various combinations of these attitudes towards sex. The following chart provides a summary:

  • Sex-Favorable: Accepting and embracing of sexuality in broader society, as well as in their own relationships.
  • Sex-Indifferent: Indifferent to or okay with moderate portrayals and discussion of sex in broader society, with a willingness to compromise within their own relationships.
  • Sex-Averse/Sex-Repulsed: Averse or repulsed by sex in broader society, and may or may not be open to compromise within their own relationships (the specific term used depends on the subjective degree of the reaction).

It is important to note that there are varying degrees within each category, and some asexual individuals may only exhibit favorability towards specific sexual acts or develop comfort levels with certain people at particular stages of their lives.

Similarly, attitudes towards sex can change over time for both asexual and sexual individuals due to cultural shifts, personal connections, or life experiences. Sexual orientation is generally a consistent characteristic, but attitudes towards sex can evolve.